#52Ancestorsin52Weeks Week 22/52 Kate Emilia FORFAR (nee ELLIS) - Conflict

Kate Emilia FORFAR (nee ELLIS)  - 1872-1905

Kate Amelia FORFAR nee Ellis

Ahnentafel Number 15

Context for discovery

This biography was written as part of the 52 ancestors in 52 weeks exercise devised by Amy Johnson Crow.  You can join in too here.

Amy says

Conflict seems to be part of human nature, and it can be an unpleasant thing to examine in our family history. (On the positive side, it can create records for us to use.) What ancestor was involved in a conflict, whether it was a war, a feud, or a legal matter ?

Kate was my great-grandmother on my mother’s side of the family.  My mother never knew her maternal grandmother.  She died well before she was even thought of as my mother’s mother was only 2 years old when Kate died.

As you will learn from this biography, conflict seemed to be very much part of her life.

Childhood

Kate was the eighth child born to George and Isabella Ellis (nee Sinclair).  The eighth of thirteen children, she was born on Tuesday 9th July 1872 at Rye Road, Kangerong, Mornington, Victoria. (1)

Kate’s father was a teacher, aged 34, born Swineshead Lincolnshire, England.  Her mother was 33 years old, born Inveraray, Arylshire, Scotland.

By the time she was ten Kate would have witnessed the births of her younger siblings Egbert, Albert, Isabella, Eva and Beatrice and the deaths of two of her younger sisters Isabella and Eva. Kate had one older sister, Esther, four years her senior and four older brothers.  An older brother and sister had died before she was born.

The family moved from Victoria to Sydney in about 1885. 

 

 

 

A notice in the Police Gazette for 9 December 1885 announces:

Sydney - A warrant has been issued by the Central Police Bench for the arrest of William Attenburgh, charged with fraudulently taking away Esther Ellis, an unmarried girl under the age of 21 years, out of the possession and agains the will of her parents with intent to carnally know her, on the 21st November, 1885.  Offender is about 24 years of age, tall and slender build, light moustache, and small whiskers; had the appearance of a larrikin.  Esther Ellis is about 17 years of age (looks older), tall and handsome, fair hair and complexion.  Complainant, Isabella Ellis, 6, Brougham - street Glebe.

Sydney - A warrant has been issued by the Central Police Bench for the arrest of Elizabeth McEvoy, charged that she did, at Sydney, abet with one William Attenburgh in taking away Esther Ellis out of the possession and against the will of her parents, she , the said Esther Ellis, being under the age of 21 years, with intent to carnally know her.  Description of offender - About 26 years of age, short and thin; has a delicate appearance; wears short black hair.  Is supposed to be in company with William Attenburgh (for whose arrest a warrant has been issued) and the girl Esther Ellis.  Complainant, Isabella Ellis, 6, Brougham-street, Glebe.

Esther must have survived the abduction because she went on to marry John Thomas Floyd in 1889.(2)


They were married in All Saints' Church Woollahra which looks a lovely place for a wedding. John was a chemist from Callan Park.


They had one son, Sydney, born 1890. (3)

 

A similar notice appeared in the Police Gazette for Kate on 3 February 1892. (4)

Missing Friends



Missing from her home, Point Piper Road, Woollahra, since
8 p.m. the 25th ultimo,-Kate Ellis, 19 years of age, about 5
feet high, rather thick set, dark hair and eyes ; dressed in white
bodice, dark skirt, sealskin jacket, cloth top shoes, and was
wearing either a white hat with black velvet band or black hat
with flowers and cream trimming . She had in her possession,
when leaving home , a large black silk umbrella , ivory handle,
and a bundle of clothing.

This prompted me to write this story on my blog in an attempt to imagine what had happened to Kate.

At nineteen years of age, Kitty Ellis seemed hell-bent on turning her parents’ hair grey.

Bella Ellis, her mother, worriedly checked for silver streaks in the dressing glass every morning, whilst George, her father, regarded his receding hairline soberly.

Kitty’s older siblings had done their parents proud. Her brothers were studying at University or gainfully employed. Esther, her sister, found a suitable match in John Flynn, who was the pharmacist for Callan Park.

Kitty was godmother to the Flynns' darling baby boy, Sydney, now twelve months old. She minded him occasionally so Esther and John could attend fund-raising dinners.

But Kitty was a dreamer and had big plans. If you asked her what they were, she would be hard-pressed to tell you. She just knew she needed to get away.  “Settling down” was her idea of a slow death.  

Her mother, Bella,  never hesitated to throw cold water on Kitty’s ‘fanciful notions’ and believed in calling a spade a spade. George, her father, was a stickler for convention and very proud of having been a schoolmaster for twenty years. If Kitty heard him lecture her one more time, she would surely scream.  

The family moved from Ararat in Victoria to Sydney when Woollahra City Council appointed George their Inspector of Nuisances. Kitty seemed to be the only one who found the title amusing.  

It was January 1892. Kitty missed the excitement that the advent of a new year usually brought with it; the promise of new experiences and opportunities.  Her mother relied on her more to help with the running of the house, now that Esther had gone. Her two younger siblings, Bertie and Bea, would be going back to school (and their friends) on Wednesday.

A year of drudgery and boredom yawned in front of her. The only bright spot on her horizon was meeting her friends at Circular Quay tomorrow. They would catch the steamer to Clark Island and watch the boats in the Anniversary Day Regatta.

“Absolutely not!” her mother forbade.

“But…,” cried Kitty.

“Not another word,” warned her father.

“Can you imagine the type of person that would be hanging around, George?” her mother cried.

“Indeed I can,” agreed her father, snapping to the next page of the Herald. “Layabouts and larrikins,” he observed.

“Stop gaping like a fish Kitty.  Clear the rest of the table and make sure Bertie and Bea are doing a good job of the dishes,” said Bella.  

Then, before Kitty could protest, Bella added:

“I simply must finish this hemming before I retire this evening. Bertie must have grown three inches over summer. You, my girl, on the other hand, are growing out, rather than up. You’re starting to look a bit thickset like my sister Margaret. She had a sweet-tooth just like you. You’ll never catch a young man with that figure. After the dishes, you can play on the harmonium for your father. He likes a bit of music before bed.”

The clock on the mantel ticked sonorously and then started to chime the hour: eight long chimes. Something in Kitty snapped. Her dark eyes flashed. She let out a wail of frustration and disappointment and ran out of the room.

Upstairs, in the tiny room she shared with Bea, she paced back and forth seething with rage. What could she do? Where could she go? The walls seemed to close in around her. If only she could think straight.  

Esther! Esther would help her surely. She missed Kitty’s company now that she was at home all day with the baby. Hopefully, the trams were still running this late in the evening.

She threw a shawl on to the bed and, snatching a few clothes from the chest, wrapped them into a bundle.   

Money. She would need money. She pulled the crisp notes from the empty box of marzipan, hid them in her bodice and then shrugged into her sealskin jacket.  Yes, it was too hot to be wearing a jacket but nothing would induce her to leave it behind. It was the one bit of luxury she possessed and made her look like a real grown up. Running down the stairs, she found her mother blocking her path at the bottom.

“And where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Bella asked.

“Somewhere where I won’t be treated like a slave!” Kitty cried theatrically.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” her mother snorted.

“Just ignore her, Bella,” her father instructed. “She’s having another one of her tantrums.  It’ll blow over. “

Then he added as an after-thought:

“Kitty, apologise to your mother and go and do the blessed dishes, there’s a good girl.”

But Kitty pushed past her mother, snatched her hat from the hallstand and then, with some spite, her mother’s favourite umbrella with the ivory handle.  She flounced out the front door, making sure to slam it behind her.

Miles Franklin Portrait c 1901
State Library of NSW
acms.sl.nsw.gov.au/item/itemDetailPaged.aspx?itemID=448208
no known copyright restrictions

Married Life

But enough of my fiction.  

What we do know is that Kate married Alfred H Doe 4 April 1896 at the Congregational Church at Woollahra at the age of 24. (5)

There is a marriage notice that you can see on Trove here.

Kate and Alfred were granted a divorce in 1902, some six years later as per the notice in the Sydney Morning Herald here.

What is interesting is that by that time Kate already had two children with Walter William Forfar and the twins (one of whom was my grandmother) were on the way.

According to the eldest child's birth certificate Walter and Kate were married in 1897 in Perth Western Australia.  We have searched the index to BDM in WA with no success.  However there are advertisements appearing in the West Australian from July to September for a "girl, smart, at once, to mind baby and useful at Hawthorne, ....Mrs Forfar, Lincoln Street, Highgate Hill".

But - just to keep you on your toes.....Ernest Henry Forfar was born 12 February 1900 at Queen Street East Sandy Bay in Tasmania!  Anyone who knows the geography of Australia knows that Tasmania and Western Australia are not exactly close.  Ernest's father Walter is listed as a retired surveyor.  His mother's maiden name is listed as Sinclair - which was in fact her mother's maiden name.

Kate and Walter's second child, Dorothy, was born 4 June 1901 in Windsor, Victoria.  Her mother's maiden name is listed as Morrison on this certificate (???) and Walter's occupation is now Hotel Keeper.  Again, to keep you on your toes, the birth was registered in New South Wales in November! Walter is recorded as living at Richmond, NSW.

Another notice for a missing person, this time Kate’s 2nd husband Walter William Forfar is found in the Police Gazette dated 8 Jan 1902. (6)

This prompted me to write this imagined story on my blog for a writing assignment when I was studying at University of Tasmania for my Diploma in Family History. NB Despite being christened Walter William, Kate’s 2nd husband was called Dick by all who knew him well.

Interior view, from top of staircase, 108 Buckingham Street, Redfern, 4 June 1950. Creator: NSW Police Department

Kit didn’t think it was possible for them to go any lower, but here they were in a boarding house in Redfern.


“How the mighty are fallen!” she thought to herself.


Ernest was wailing and the baby was fractious with the heat. Truth be known, Kit wanted to have a good howl herself but she held fast, recognising that her emotions had got her into enough trouble already. She didn’t know what she found the hardest to bear; the loss of their possessions or the loss of her pride.


Now, it seemed she’d lost Dick, to top it all off. He’d scarpered the week before Christmas and it was well into the New Year. For all his bluff and swagger, Kit suspected Dick’s bravado concealed his fear; she wasn’t sure if it was a fear of being found out or a fear of being trapped. If she was honest with herself, she knew it was the latter. She recognised his actions were based on self-preservation. Dick knew she’d abandoned a relationship before, so he was making the first move rather than being “king-hit”.


At first, the half-truths and then the outrageous lies they told to anyone and everyone had been a game. How far could they go? But when her own deception of Dick was revealed, trust was broken. Their disappointment with each other led to sniping and delivering low blows more and more frequently. Taking on the Black Horse Inn in Richmond had been too big a gamble. They would be lucky if they or their reputations ever recovered.

 

Redfern life turned Kit’s stomach into a hard knot. She constantly scanned the environment for threats lurking in the shadows and laneways.


There were twelve of them under the one roof in their lodgings. The landlady had the front room. Two old maids shared the middle room. There was a couple in the room out the back next to Kit and Dick’s room and a young couple and their baby were up in the attic. Kit worried ceaselessly that the little they had would be stolen. The front door was often left unlatched, so tenants could come and go. The staircase was so perilous, she imagined herself at the bottom of it with a broken neck.


Dick had charmed his way into a job at the local baker earning £2 a week but that wasn’t going to go far. At night, she lay in bed listening to the sounds of neighbours drinking away their despair until the early hours of the morning. She loathed the hard streets of Sydney and its brittle inhabitants and wished they’d never returned.


“Do you not have family here?” asked Mrs Steel, the landlady, gently. Kit and the children had stayed in the boarding house over Christmas, when most tenants were eager to return “home” for the festive season.


“My parents died when I was a baby,” lied Kit, more out of habit than design. “My aunt raised me but she lives in Melbourne.”


“Well you’ve got your own family to look after now,” the old woman cooed. “Nothing quite like your own brood. I haven’t seen your husband lately. He must work odd hours.”

 

“Yes, he has to be at the bakery at two in the morning. Then the builders want to see him after work about the new house we’re building, so he doesn’t get home until quite late,” Kit fabricated in a careless tone.


Mrs Steel’s questions were beginning to grate. All Kit wanted to do was lie down somewhere and lick her wounds in private. But privacy was a thing of the past now with a common scullery and laundry.


“I’ll just take the babies out for a walk, Mrs Steel, to get some air while the washing’s drying. Can I fetch you anything while I’m out?” she said, against her better judgement. Kit had exactly three shillings in her purse to last her until goodness knows when.


“Oh no dear, I’m all sorted. Now you be careful. Stay right away from Abercrombie Street. The larrikins and their pushes get into all sorts of mischief late in the day, throwing stones and anything they can lay their hands on. One little boy lost his eye last week.”

Something in Kit started to boil. Damn Dick and his abandonment of them! She wouldn’t let him get away with it. She bundled the children into the large pram she’d cajoled from a sympathetic neighbour in Richmond and headed off to the police station to report her missing “husband”. She walked quickly with her head held high, just as her mother taught her all those years ago.

“Kit? Is that you?” said a familiar voice at the intersection.


As she turned to respond, the knot in her stomach turned to jelly.


“Oh, Alf,” she gasped. “What on earth are you doing here?”


“I might very well ask you the same question,” retorted her ex in an aggrieved tone.

Eighteen months later my grandmother and her twin sister were born 8 December 1902 at 23 Bedford Street Newtown. (7)

Walter is now listed as a pastry cook.  

Then I found this disturbing article.

It becomes even more disturbing when Kate withdraws her allegations a couple of days later.

Kate would have been four or five months pregnant with baby Walter William at the time. Ernest would have been aged 4 and a half, Dorothy just three and the twins nearly two years old.

It all begs the question - what was the truth of the matter?

Just over two years later, little Walter William Forfar was born in January 1905 but died only a couple of months later due to asphyxia - due to smothering by his father rolling on top of him in bed. (8)

Decline

Kate died of premature confinement and syncope on New Year's eve 1905 at Denison Street Arncliffe. (9)She was buried in the Independent section of Rookwood Cemetery on 2 January 1906.  

Shortly afterwards her children were placed into Randwick Asylum for Destitute Children by their father. (10)

Asylum for Destitute Children Randwick by Samuel Thomas Gill

Final Note

Researching Kate’s life has been tricky, challenging and confronting.  I suspect conflict lay at the core of her being.  I see her as a desperately unhappy individual, at odds with her place in her family and her place in society.  My heart goes out to her and her children who must have felt so abandoned.  We will probably never know all the facts of the matter or who or what was to blame.  I look at her photo many times looking for answers in the strained expression, wishing she could speak to me and I could hear her version of the truth. There are always many sides to a story, particularly one of conflict, and I suspect the one that remains in the official records and the newspapers is just one version.

 Endnotes

1. [ Tootgarook District, Victoria, birth certificate, Number 49 (1872) , ELLIS, Kate Emilia,]  

2. [ Australia Marriage Index, 1788-1950, Ancestry.com]  

3. [ Australaia Birth Index, 1788-1922, Ancestry.com] 

4. [ New South Wales, Australia, Police Gazettes, 1854-1930, Ancestry.com]

5. [ Registry of Marriages NSW, Marriage Certificate 4176 (1896), Doe-Ellis, NSW Registry of Births Deaths and Marriages, Sydney.]

6. [ New South Wales, Australia, Police Gazettes, 1854-1930, Ancestry.com]

7. [ Australia Birth Index, 1788-1922, Ancestry.com] 

8. [New South Wales, Australia, Registers of Coroners’ Inquests, 1821-1937, Ancestry.com ]

9. [Registry of Deaths NSW, Death Certificate no. 2949 (1905) , Kate Amelia Forfar, Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, Sydney. ]

10.  [New South Wales, Australia, Registers for the Randwick Asylum for Destitute Children, 1852-1915, Ancestry.com]